Snarky News of the Week #18

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As usual, here is a summary of the various things happening around the world this week. For the following week’s edition see Snarky News of the Week #19.

Smallest restaurant in the world set to open in Sweden

With Sweden being one of the few countries in the world where restaurants and similar public venues remain open during the coronavirus pandemic, there’s no doubt that the opening of a new micro-sized eatery will surely garner some attention.

From May 10th until August 1st, Bord för En (Table for One) will open its ‘doors’ to a single diner each day. Located approximately 215 miles (or 350 kilometres) from Stockholm, in the region of Värmland, the ‘restaurant’ is just one table set in the middle of a picturesque country meadow.

The three-course menu, which luckily does not include the horridly smelling Surströmming, will be offered at a price point decided entirely by the patron.

As Swedes are not renowned for their extroversion, there are no waitstaff, but instead a simple basket tied to a rope and pully system to ensure that complete social isolation is maintained for the guest.

It certainly awaits to be seen whether this concept will catch-on and become the new format for all restaurants as we move to reopen our societies.

Japanese eels now using FaceTime to stop feeling lonely

Unlike Sweden, Japan has urged its population to stay home and avoid public places in response to the current worldwide crisis.

While many questions have already been asked regarding the impact of this unprecedented societal shut-down on our mental well-being, it appears that sea creatures were never consulted until now.

Sumida Aquarium in Tokyo has reported that “the animals aren’t seeing any other people other than the staff and they’re beginning to forget about humans. The garden eels in particular have started to burrow themselves into the sand and hide even when aquarium staff pass by their tank”.

In response, the Japanese aquarium has requested volunteers across the country to video call its approximately 300 spotted garden eels via FaceTime, which have been dearly missing human interaction since the aquarium was mandated to close back in March.

Police raid on British pub find customers hiding in cupboards

South Yorkshire Police Officers have raided the Pitsmoor Hotel in Sheffield after receiving reports that the pub was continuing to serve pints in violation of implemented government restrictions.

Punters attempted to evade discovery by concealing themselves in cupboards, which to be fair would seem like a viable strategy after consuming copious amounts of lager. Police have not yet commented on how they were able to detect the drunkards stealthily hidden away.

According to local police, the pub’s licence to serve alcohol is unsurprisingly now under review.

Backpackers are being adopted by Australians

Despite being a social group not usually receiving much sympathy, Backpackers are increasingly being taken in by Australians as part of a social media movement calling to  “Adopt a Backpacker”.

With the majority of flights in and out of Australia cancelled and hostels closed, many Backpackers, normally already financially ill-prepared, have been left stranded in the country.

An online Facebook group aims to connect stuck travellers with vacant rooms as well as labour opportunities such as farm-work, until they can afford to return to their privileged first-world countries of origin.

Tokyo punishes violators of social distancing measures by slaying 800,000 tulips

Perhaps one of the more prominent examples of “this is why we cannot have nice things”, organisers of the annual Sakura Tulip festival have cut-down all flowers after reports of several hundred visitors ignoring the park’s closure.

The once full field of tulips now stands depressingly bare as a stark reminder to people to consider the severity of the current situation.

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